I Hide

I avoid your eyes
To hide
The vulnerable state I’m in when our gaze meets.
The truth spills the crazy intensity I feel when these eyes meet you.

I run from your glance
To disguise the vulnerability I feel when you search past my eyes to my soul.
The overwhelming passion, intense craving, and undeniable desire to have you touch me, kiss me, embrace me.

I hide. 

As your hand raises above my head to place your arm around me, 

I freeze.
I hide my delight of such a gesture.
Run from excitement of the possible meanings.
You’re mine again and I, forever yours. 

Gently, you tug my curls.
I hide my smile 

Because its all too telling of my joy to have you be the first to play in my curls.
Closer you guide me,
Close enough that if I was bold enough I could take your lips.
I turn away, hiding
My desire.
My desire to pull you in, meet my own orgasm as our tongues dance
A familiar dance that I recall, often

Often I’m tempted to encroach in conversation.
Converse of the possibilities to rekindle what I call passions acted on too soon.
If only we could have been better four years prior.
There’d be no need to hide my desires.
Desires to be the avenue that you become what you exude, A citizen, not a visitor
My muse in all my pieces.

Glass breaks and my day dream is interrupted.
Back to my realities
We were lovers, turned enemies, now friends who have drinks and consult one another about new love interests.

I stop hiding.
Regain my composure
Make eye contact Search your eyes for closure.

Searching, searching, searching. ..

I find a friend who is no longer a lover.
A genuine love and appreciation for the person I have become.
The unexpected expected.
Fuck it hurts!
Continue our gaze,
Communicate without words that I accept where we are and silently thank you.

You smile,
Communicate an understanding of what transpired between our eyes.
A silent conversation of closure.
Relinquishing the hold you have on me.
Peace of mind and heart for mourning the loss Of the love shared between two souls.
No more reason to hide